Friday, September 25, 2009

Aunty Christ needs a self-esteem boost

Overload overload.

Before I go on, I should say that I detest sects, brotherhoods, guilds, groups in general, any assemblage of morons congregating for reasons of profession, tastes, or similar manias. All these cliques have numbers of grotesque characteristics in common: repetition of type, their jargon, their arrogant conviction that they are better than everyone else.

I can see that I am complicating the problem, but I see no way to simplify it. Besides, anyone who wants to stop reading this account may do so now. He should know immediately that he has my unqualified permission.

What do I mean by “repetition of type”? You have undoubtedly noticed how disagreeable it is to be with someone who has a tic in one eye, or whose lip is constantly twitching. Well, can you imagine a club of such people? Such extreme examples are not necessary, however. Merely think of a large family, in which certain traits, certain gestures, certain intonations of voice, are commonplace. I once had the experience of falling in love with a woman (without, of course, declaring it) and then fleeing in terror when faced with meeting her sisters. And something truly horrendous happened to me on a different occasion. I had admired certain traits in a woman I knew, but when I met one of her sisters I was depressed and ashamed for days: the very traits I had found so desirable seemed exaggerated and distorted in the sister, slightly caricatured, but not greatly. The vaguely distorted vision of the first woman that I saw in her sister, besides the impression I described, made me feel ashamed, as if in some way I were partly to blame for the slightly ridiculous view I now had of the woman I had so admired.

-The Tunnel, by Ernesto Sabato

Over the past few weeks I have been fixated on this part of what I should point out, in case you haven’t read it before, is a really, really wonderful book about a couple of my biggest obsessions: obsession and the unreliability of memory. It’s so, so good.

I really need to read it again, actually.

There is an actual, specific reason I bring this up now, but in a more general sense I admit the fear of being seen as a repetitive type has always haunted me. Because, yes. I have witnessed these clubs of lip-twitchers, and they are creepy.

But more specifically, this is my silly way of saying that I’m spending too much time online lately, or in the wrong corners of the internet. All the blog commenters sound alike: they are a repetition of type. “We hate all ladies who aren’t Megan Fox!” they howl. Or, “Everyone hates me for this really stupid reason, and that’s why I must scream about personally being very awesome!” Or, “The Bible says if you-uns get cheaper health insurance from the government, I can’t feel awesome about having my own health insurance, and that’s why you should not have that!”

It is infuriating. Everywhere I look, there they are: threads of quasi-people with identical tics. Even when the tic displayed is exactly the same as the one I see in my own face—especially then, rather—it freaks me the fuck out.

Also, here is another thing that is freaking me out. This was posted on Craigslist, in the Strictly Platonic section. He is sane and he will not rape you. Call now, ladies. You can’t afford not to.

self esteem boost/will not rape you - m4w - 21

Date: 2009-09-25, 9:03PM PDT

looking for someone to hang out with and watch a movie tonight... im 21 and sane need i say more :) and like the title says wont rape you!!!


Why do I get the feeling that Nick is going to rape me? Paranoid!


TweenyBopper said...

"I'm 21, SANE!!!, and I NEED SOMEONE to watch a movie with tonight. I repeat, I NEED SOMEONE to watch a movie with TONIGHT! H-A-N-G! O-U-T! W-I-T-H! M-E! I won't rape you. Need I say more?... Oh, I do?"

I didn't notice anything in the title saying: "I won't kill you."

By the way, when he says "self esteem boost," do you think that he's referring to his prowess as a booster, or that he needs a boost so as to maintain his sanity (or else he'll become a rapist).

rich bachelor said...

I think it's real convenient that I can choose to reply to the original post right here, on your blog, without having to go over to th' Craigslist. Damn, that's casual!

Aunty Christ said...

Tweeny, that is a VERY good point about the many, many things that the ad fails to promise. Sure, not raping me is nice, but it's really only a start. And the "self esteem boost" is indeed troubling in its lack of specificity. Is the girl's esteem being boosted due to her not getting raped? If so, it's actually a kind of nice change from the usual "rape as flattery" argument. But yeah, your theory that he needs the self-esteem boost lest he turn to more forceful means is also possible. Maybe I should email him to as about it?

Rich, ah I wish. If you click on it, you get taken back to my blog. What's that about? What, did we lose a war?

S said...

Bwahahah! Actually, this is pretty par for the Craigslist experience, don't you find? The guys who say, "Hey, I have a job, even if I can't spell, and I want a blonde supermodel astrophysicist not shorter than 5'9" or heavier than 125 lbs. I'm real and you be real too. How come there's only spam or bots on this site? Why don't women ever contact me?"

I'm sure the women are as bad, but I don't read 'em.

Salty Miss Jill said...

Two words for Nick:
Reaction Formation.

Aunty Christ said...

S: So, you're thinking EVERYONE on Craigslist is delusional, if not outright insane? If so, I totally agree. Or, if not everyone, a good 90% of them.

Salty: I had to wiki that, not being a psych person, but YES.

Eve said...

The photo of the dogs is perfect for this post. I'd say you're clever, but I can't get the twitching lip out of my mind.

Aunty Christ said...

Eve: I know! That picture illustrates exactly why Castel is right about the grossness of similar types.

And I loooooove pugs, but come on.